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Book Cover: "If I Can't Have You" by Patti Berg
IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU

By Patti Berg
Avon
April 1998
ISBN: 0-380-79554-X

Trevor Montgomery was more handsome than Tyrone Power or Cary Grant; more dashing and daring than Errol Flynn; he was a man every woman desired and all men envied. He was a movie star who’d enthralled millions in the 1930’s—and then he disappeared.

Adriana Howard is rich beyond imagining, but her life has been cloaked in scandal, and she’d rather love a man on a movie screen—a 1930’s idol and maybe a murderer—than face the real world.

He’s suspected of a brutal murder in his own time, but all he remembers is the blood, the knife, and the smell of death.

He’s a womanizer, a drunk, and she should kick him out of her life—but he’s traveled 60 years through time in answer to one of her wishes, and she can’t resist his charms. Now she’s willing to risk anything to prove his innocence and win his love.

 

The buzz..

"A haunting, beautiful story that weaves a spell of enchantment around readers. This is an incredible fantasy told with powerful emotions ... you won't be able to put it down."
 --Rendezvous

"... chock full of passionate love, undying devotion and the perils of obsession."
--Romantic Times

"A lush and romantic tale that will capture your heart."
 --Barbara Freethy, author of Daniel's Gift

"... an engrossing, intriguing story that pulled me in from the very first page. This story reads like a love letter to anyone who has ever stayed up until the wee small hours watching an old Cary Grant movie 'just one more time'.''
 --Jennifer Francis, Romance Communications

"... a timely feast for fans of great romance."
 -- Harriet Klausner

 

Excerpt...

The darkness lasted for only a moment. Adriana remembered the weakness that had flashed through her body and turned her muscles and bones to mush. She remembered the shiver of shock that raced up her spine as lights twinkled before her eyes, and she remembered everything turning black. She didn’t remember falling, though, or Trevor Montgomery--the Trevor Montgomery--kneeling on the floor to cradle her head in his lap. 

"Feeling any better?" he asked in that deep, warm voice she knew so well. It was a voice she’d heard so many times in the movies he’d made a long time before she was born.

Taking a deep breath, she struggled to sit up, but he held her close, smoothing warm fingers over her cool cheeks and brow.

"Did I faint?"

He nodded, and the smile she remembered from those very same films touched his lips. "I’ve had women pass out on me half a dozen times, but only in the movies. I didn’t think it happened in real life."

"I guess shock can do it to a person."

He cocked one dark, well-defined brow. "Have I shocked you?"

Adriana laughed nervously. "You’re Trevor Montgomery."

"I’ve told you that at least a dozen different ways."

"You should be an old man."

"I should be dead . . . but I’m not."

Again Adriana pushed away, and this time Trevor let her go, but his long, sensuous fingers trailed over her arm and down the length of her hands as she stood, sending a different kind of shock through her body, one she rather enjoyed even though she knew she shouldn’t.

She went to the sink, filled a glass with water, and took a sip, staring out the window, trying to make sense of her feelings and of what was going on.

"Is it the rose that made you believe me?" he asked, standing now at her side with the bedraggled flower in his hand.

It was the rose; it was the scratches on his back, too, but those she didn’t want to think about. The thought of Trevor Montgomery and all his romantic escapades angered her. How could a man of his charm, his class, hop into bed without thinking of anything but a moment’s fun? His sexual appetite hadn’t bothered her much before--it was all part of his mystique. But now, with him standing near, that was all she could think of. It had cheapened all those charming things he’d said to her because he probably said them to all the women he met.

Her father would have despised this man. He would have chastised her for allowing him into her home.

Why, then, did she find him so appealing?

She took the rose from his fingers. The red petals were crushed, some had fallen away, but a trace of the fragrance remained and she held it to her nose. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could pull a man through time simply by tossing a rose into a pool and making a crazy wish."

"So, that’s how you dragged me sixty years through time."

His voice was filled with laughter, but Adriana could only frown.

"It doesn’t sound possible, but I can’t think of any other explanation."

"What did you wish for?"

Adriana gazed at Trevor for a moment, then turned away, afraid of what he would think.

"Tell me," he implored, lightly touching her chin with an index finger and tilting her face toward him. "Please."

"It was silly, really."

"Tell me," he repeated in that spellbinding voice that made her want to divulge all her secrets, things she’d never told a soul.

She walked away from his touch and sat down at the table. Lifting her fork, she picked at the now wilted salad on her plate. "I was standing at the pool," she said, trying to remember that moment. "I’d closed my eyes and seen a vision of you lying facedown on the water. It wasn’t the first time. It seemed to happen every year on the Fourth of July, and always when I was standing beside the pool."

Adriana looked up at him. She feared she’d see a grin on his face, but instead, he had the softest of smiles. "I remembered the movie where you threw a rose on your lover’s casket."

"Desperate Hours," he added, supplying the name of the film that most people rarely remembered when they thought about Trevor Montgomery’s roles. It was too obscure, but it was one of her favorites, a movie that showed the depth of his emotions, the strength of his talent.

He sat across from her, rested his elbows on the table, and leaned forward. "What happened then?"

"I kissed the rose." Again she looked at her plate, knowing he’d laugh when she told him what she’d said. "I didn’t say much. Just . . ." She sighed deeply. "Come back to me. Please. Come to me."

All she saw was a trace of a smile on Trevor’s face when she raised her eyes. He wasn’t laughing, not in the least.

"Why did you want me to come back?"

She couldn’t tell him the truth. He’d laugh for sure if she told him she’d been in love with him--with Trevor Montgomery the movie star--since she was six years old.

"It doesn’t matter . . ."

"It does to me," Trevor interrupted softly.

Adriana shook her head. "The important thing right now is to figure out what we’re going to do."

"You mean figure out how to send me back to 1938?"

Send him away? That was something she hadn’t even considered. But he’d been pulled away from friends and family. Maybe he wanted to go home. "Do you want me to try to send you back?"

He shrugged, and his brow furrowed into a frown. "I don’t belong here," he said, shaking his head. "I don’t know anything about your time. I want to live the life I was supposed to live. But I’ve read those books of yours. They don’t paint a very pretty picture of me. If I could go back and change things, then yes, I’d want to go back. Unfortunately, the only things waiting for me in my own decade are prison bars and the scorn of old friends. I don’t know if that’s what I want. Then again, what if . . . what if I wake up tomorrow and I’m old and wrinkled and looking like I’m ninety-four years old? What kind of life is that?"

"I don’t know."

She left the table, but Trevor grasped her fingers before she could walk out of the room.

"Don’t leave me, Adriana," he said, not only his words but his dark brown eyes imploring her to stay.

She tried pulling her hand away, but he held on tight.

"I need to be alone for a while," she told him, wanting to get away to digest this craziness about a man traveling through time, about Trevor Montgomery being in her home, in her life. "I need to think."

"About what?"

"Things."

"Like whether or not I’m a murderer?"

"Are you?"

His eyes flashed briefly with anger, then he looked away. He pushed up from the table and crossed the kitchen, staring out the window. His deep sigh filled the room. "I don’t know."

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